As someone who’s made it thru to the other side, I just want other white people that getting to the other side is painful, but it’s well worth it. It is incredibly freeing. You find that you can listen to criticism of white people and not feel defensive. You don’t feel compelled to say “not all..." Or any of the other cliches.
You no longer have to defend white people. You realize whiteness isn’t an identity attached to the skin you can’t shed.
Whiteness is also a verb. It is something you perform. You can separate yourself from white supremacy by letting go of your white identity, letting go of the need to defend yourself against the charges levied at white people in general.
You know it’s not about you.
Stop performing whiteness. How? By listening to POC instead of defending whiteness.