I figured out some time back that if I don't act like a racist or talk like a racist, and I listen respectfully — giving authority and credence to people for whom racism is their daily lived experience — why then, funny thing, I rarely get attacked. And the few times I have been it almost always comes down to a misunderstanding that gets worked out.
FFS my white brothers and sisters, just keep your mouth shut and LISTEN. And take your ego out of the picture, please.
If you have to defend yourself, chances are you are what you were accused of being.