I like the "who built the deck" approach, digging underneath the surface to highlight why "the race card" is a legitimate card to play, given the conditions in which it is likely to be used. I'll keep that in mind for later use.

I'm not sure I've brought this up to you before, but I think it's worth repeating even if I have. I have a somewhat different approach to the assertion that one is "playing the race card." And that is to talk about "playing the denial card."

Playing the Denial card: Yes. All. Whites.

https://a-room-of-my-own.medium.com/playing-the-denial-card-yes-all-whites-d9b0c333f169

"....Frustrated with an answer that utterly misunderstands what is being said, I turned [the phrase] around to say they are “Playing the Denial Card.” Which means: every time a person of color or a white defender of people of color talk about racism, white people (both liberal and supremacist) defend themselves with this cliche that makes calling out racism seem trivial at best."

The article is directed primarily toward white people seeking to defend righteous criticism of Whiteness and the powerful role it plays in our deeply racist culture.

It also argues against using the all too standard white defense against charges of racism, "not all whites." All too often that turns out to be an attempt to refocus attention on ourselves and our "hurt feelings" over not being recognized for all the "work" we've supposedly done over our years.

For once in our "white hero" lives we need to stand back and yield the floor to the people who live the struggle daily.