If only the process were so orderly.

These little boxes aren't intended for long commentary, so I won't even get started on Ross here. But I have a rather different take, having been through multiple deaths of people central to my life, over the years since my dad's final heart attack in 1976 -- on Thanksgiving Day no less.

I'm sure Ross didn't intend to be prescriptive or judgmental, but her progressive levels of mourning imply judgmental criteria that many friends and relatives (and loose, informal connections) frequently use precisely as such with others.

I read Ross in an attempt to cope with my father's death, which was co-incidental with other deaths, as well as the metaphorical death of my first marriage.

I was only 28 at the time. Little did I know that my grieving and recovery process wouldn't be anything like those stages.

I hope you don't mind my suggesting my Medium article on grief, which covers MY OWN, set of 20 very non-prescriptive points, 100% not useful for anyone to use in judgment of others (or oneself).

Twenty True Things I Know About Living With Grief* [revised in the Time of the Coronavirus], which I believe cuts out what people often interpret as implied judgment when someone is deemed to be not far enough along in the "steps," and for that matter, never EVER getting to the final one.

Since many people don't like URLs in the discussion boxes, I'll leave everyone to figure out how to find it. It's quite easy since my name is fairly unusual.

Retired professor, feminist, writer, photographer, activist, grandmother of 5, overall Wise Woman. Phd UIA School of Journalism & Mass Communication, 1994.

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