My answer to your question is: "Racist is as racist does."

I am reminded of what happened in my family back in the early 70s when my sister became pregnant by and then married a black man from Southside Chicago. They raised us all to eschew racism & treat everyone with the same dignity regardless of color or cultural differences.

And yet, the racist words that came out of my mother's mouth when she told me about it were absolutely sickening to me. She wanted me to talk my sister into having an abortion because she did not want any "picaniny grandchildren."

I have a few paragraphs about that in "My Multicultural Education."

https://a-room-of-my-own.medium.com/my-multicultural-education-d92b491936f5