In the Beginning there was God. All was God. But God was all packed tight into an unimaginably massive chunk of matter, which in turn was also a massive flow of energy.
But God was not satisfied being a massive chunk of matter or an amorphous flowing of energy. Without any way of mirroring Godself, there was no way for God to know and understand Godself.
And God wished to know Godself.
And so, BANG! BOOM! KaBAM!!!! WHOOSH! KABLOOEY!!
Over eons in time (nanoseconds to God), all the pieces of God from the largest sun to the tiniest elements of an atom separated, spread out into the infinite massiveness that is the Universe, and got busy becoming, transforming, randomly and by accident.
And somehow in that randomness, organic existence came into being. And God said “oh wow! This is veddy EENTERESTING! This is a part of myself I never knew existed! I wonder what will happen if…” And then there was this experiment and that, that experiment and this; and sometimes God said: “I wonder what would happen if I just let things develop, if I just stood back and let all these pieces of me become whatever they might?” So there was randomness and plan; and plans that turned random, and randomness that turned into plan.
Eventually, some bits of matter/energy, through some random, inexplicable (even to God) process, separated from inert matter/energy and became organic matter/energy.
Then God noticed that organic things died. They would come into being, and then stop existing, turning into non-living “stuff” that living “stuff” fed upon. And God said: WOW! What a wondrous thing these universes are, these universes that are me. And God said: isn’t it amazing how all organic things die, but they are always reborn into other forms of life?
WOW! AWESOME! TOADDALLY!! said God.
Somehow along the way, the long, long, LONG long way, organic matter formed into the predecessors of human beings. They were much larger creatures than those simple, tiny cells. Each day (a “day” being whatever God decided it might be, since there was no way to measure it at all…after all, God didn’t need measurements — they weren’t invented until humans…