Thanks for the suggestions. But you see, I already have what I can get. I'm connected up with every agency that can provide help. They are totally overburdened. I'm supposed to get 16 hours a week, but I've never gotten more than 6-10.

That's another part of the picture people don't see. There's not enough help to go around to people who qualify for it, even with very tight qualifications.

I know a lot of people in the same and worse situations. I've tried to help THEM get help. I wkno how to work the system.

The system is broken. There are too many who need help, and not enough people willing/able to do it. For one thing, the pay is crap. It's better where I live, but it's still crap.

The fact that the minimum wage hasn't been raised in years doesn't exactly help. The fact that all these agencies have seen their funds cut doesn't help either. There are a lot of people far worse off than I am.

The thing is, one of the things those of us who suffer in similar situations have to do in order not to go crazy and beat ourselves up inside is to accept that it's ok if the laundry isn't done and the dishes aren't done and the kitchen floor needs mopping and...

See, there's no one better at beating us up over these things than we are. That is precisely what pisses me off at this kind of BS that gets thrown at us.

I haven't let anyone into my apartment other than the people who come in now and then to help because I am ashamed of my environment. I don't want anyone to see how bad it is.

So it really pisses me off when people write judgmental sh*t like this without even thinking a single second about what may be going on in the other person's life.

We have to let go of our own expectations that we have an orderly home. Otherwise we beat ourselves up even worse.